Layne and Hayley Greene: The Heartfelt Journey of IVF

In this episode of A Chat with Heart, host Christina Martin engages in a heartfelt conversation with Layne and Hayley Greene about their journey through IVF. They share their emotional highs and lows, the science behind the IVF process, and the challenges they faced along the way. The couple reflects on their experiences, the support they received, and the joy of finally expecting a child. This episode highlights the importance of communication, resilience, and the power of love in the face of adversity.

Layne Greene Music

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to A Chat with Heart
• 8:02 The Journey of IVF: A Personal Story
• 15:53 Navigating the Emotional Rollercoaster of IVF
• 23:42 The Science Behind IVF: Steps and Procedures
• 31:35 The Highs and Lows of IVF: Success and Setbacks
• 39:37 The Joy of Pregnancy: A New Chapter Begins
• 49:28 Reflections on Parenthood: The Journey Ahead

Transcript

Hey, you're listening to A Chat with Heart. I'm your host, Christina Martin. I'm a singer-songwriter, curious human. I live on a dirt road in rural Nova Scotia with my partner in crime, Dale, and our Calico cat, Olivia. This podcast is basically just me chatting with people I admire. I like to ask questions that feed my curiosity, and my guests have all taught me something. They either crack me up or they punch me right in the feels.

If you've got questions, comments, or a burning desire to join the conversation, please call my heartbeat hotline, day or night. It's 1902-669-4769. You can also email me at christinamartinmusicatgmail.com. And if you want to throw a little love my way and help keep this thing going, visit my Patreon page. That's how artists like me get paid. Thanks for showing up. Warning, heartfelt content ahead.

If we just talk about it We could shut away, we could break a new day If we just talk about it We could cut away, we could make a better day

Christina (01:22.286)
Hey friends, it's Christina here and you're listening to A Chat with Heart. I want to start by congratulating our beautiful friends who were married this weekend in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia. It was a beautiful celebration and ceremony. I'm going to go out there and say it was my favorite wedding that I have ever attended, apart from my own. But no, maybe this was even better. Yeah.

Cause like, we saw so many people that we love. We saw, we witnessed our two friends start this new chapter in their lives. Melanie Stone and Jason McKisick, congratulations. We love you. And I cannot wait to have you over to play Match Madness and snuggle with our cat, Olivia. Beautiful wedding. Well done. Congrats. And thank you for your friendship.

Before I dive into this episode, I have to let you know because there are listeners that are new. Always new listeners. Hello, hello. So happy you're here. And one of the things that kind of irks me is hearing from folks after a show, we didn't know you were playing. We would have bought tickets. And so I think it's okay.

I've got to share the updates. They're like, we're playing, we're playing soon. So I've got some shows on the horizon. They're coming up real fast. I've been in full on rehearsal mode and it's been months since I've performed with an audience and these are going to be some real special events with my trio and a string ensemble. I can't wait to bring these shows to you. Tickets are online at ChristinaMartin.net. We'll be in Truro, Nova Scotia, Halifax and Annapolis Royal.

in September and I do have some more tour dates that we're announcing later in the fall. But that's it for now. Also, thanks for being here and for listening for your time. Seriously, don't be shy. The Heartbeat Hotline is open anytime. Leave me a message, a story, a question about anything, a feeling. I would love to hear from you.

Christina (03:48.046)
on my phone line or via email at christinamartinmusic.com. I think I'm going to have to start throwing out questions to y'all because I know it's kind of like, it can feel awkward just calling a phone line and leaving a message. But I love random messages. Yeah. Okay, so at the time of recording this, I've literally just dropped a new single. It's our version of Thank You for Being a Friend by Andrew Gold.

You might know it as the Golden Girls theme song, but it's honestly so much more than that. I want to thank the musicians who performed on this track. As always, I love working with my best friend, my husband, Dale Murray, who engineered and produced this song. And Parachute Mastering, for mastering it, course. Jason Boutour, bass guitar. Amazing.

Hannah Molonson on piano, nailed it. Jordy Comstock on drums. I mean, come on. When does Jordy ever fail at his task? Never. Karen Graves, she did all the string parts, performed them all, and then Dale mixed the track. And we are thrilled with how it turned out, and it's so fun.

A bunch of you submitted photos and videos per a request I made on Patreon and social media. And I was able to put together this wonderful homemade music video, totally obviously homemade, which was a lot of fun. It was very tedious to do, but I smiled so much while making it. I just hope you could check it out on YouTube and share it with people you love.

And yeah, I just hope it makes people happy. And it is a bit of a nod to, not a bit, it's a nod to Andrew Gold. I don't know if you noticed, Dale and I are wearing Andrew Gold t-shirts in the music video. And I just hope the song finds the audience that needs it. Okay, so check it out. It's right now available on my bandcamp. And as of August 1st, it'll be available on all streaming sites.

Christina (06:11.468)
the videos on my YouTube channel, which you can find easily, I'm sure, just by searching on YouTube or just visit my website, christinamartin.net. What better time to celebrate friendship? You know, my friend Kai once said, he's in Germany, international friendships prevent war. And that stuck with me. I have a terrible memory, but that stuck with me. And I was like, yeah, like you're not gonna...

You're not going go to war with your friends. Like that's why it's like really, really important that we build friendships ongoing with art, with coffee dates, you know, when leaders travel to different countries, even to potentially sworn enemies, and they try to build friendships. They try to common ground. They try to understand each other better. That's what we all can be working on on our own.

I think if we're helpless, you know, with all that's going on, it's not bright and cheery in the world. I think you have to say to yourself, what can I do? What can I control? I can do my best to build these healthy relationships in my life and around me. And that does have a ripple effect. That does not mean that you're going to be friends with everybody. It doesn't mean that you have to put your energy into everybody, but just do the best you can, I think.

And that simple saying, be kind, goes a long way as well. Listen to me, super preachy. Today's episode is one I feel incredibly lucky to share. You are gonna hear from our dear friends, Lane and Haley Green, two beautiful humans who let me tag along in a way as they began their journey to start a family through IVF.

up until recently have called it IBF. So if this is why I'm going to give you a little explanation of what IVF stands for, because I didn't really know. And I was calling it IBF this for my entire life. So IVF stands for in vitro fertilization. It's a medical process that I'm reading this because there's no way I could remember and I'm not a doctor. It stands for a medical process that helps people conceive a child by combining eggs and sperm.

Christina (08:37.599)
outside the body and then transferring an embryo into the uterus. It's a path full of emotion, hope, science, highs and low lows and love. And Lane and Haley share it all in this episode with incredible honesty. We recorded our chat over three visits in our home before the pregnancy, during, and then after their baby Stanley arrived. So as a bonus,

Throughout this episode, you'll hear clips of Lane's original music, super talented, which adds such a beautiful layer to their story. Okay, so let's get into it with our dear friends. Lane and Haley Green.

you

Christina (09:29.102)
thought it would be special to capture bits and bots about your epic journey trying to make a baby. I've always wanted you to have kids and I just want to say to anybody listening right now, you're sitting on our couch together and on your lap and in between you are your two puppy dogs, Olive and Charlie. Very well behaved. They're adopted.

You've done very well with them. We think they're adopted. I know they're dogs, but like I can already tell that you're going to be great parents. Lane's going to be a helicopter dad. So, so around the time you were thinking of getting married, you had had the conversation. We want to have a family. Which makes, I can see this.

Yeah. I think I've always wanted to be a mom. I think I always knew it was something I'd want to do. I've always like, I don't know, from the time I was a toddler, I had baby dolls and I was just mothering everything. So I think I never saw a future where I didn't become a mom.

about you? Is that your passion, your dream?

I mean, I think I always knew I would have a herd of cats.

Christina (10:46.872)
Which

We do have. Which tracks? More.

I'm sure. Yeah. I know that.

More cats. The dogs were a surprise for me. I think I would have been maybe a little less sure about human babies. But obviously, Haley wanted human babies. And I love Haley. So there we go. Decision made.

You love Faley.

Hayley (11:10.54)
Decision made. Yep.

That's great. That's cool. That, that is one example of how your love works. Dale and I have a lot of admiration for your relationship. We think you both have just great, you're like the perfect match for each other.

I think I hit the jackpot. I do. Yeah, you did. Yeah, I did. Yeah, yeah.

for sure and he did as well.

Which one of us would you keep is the question?

Christina (11:42.054)
As a friend? If you broke up? I just signed up for book club with Dale. So I think I can, to be honest, I think I could be friends with both of you. I don't know. You might struggle with both of you maintaining a relationship with Dale because he's not very good at keeping in touch with people. But I could see Lane and Dale carrying on for sure. Absolutely. being friends with both of you because that's my nature. Unless one of you did something super horrible.

You only get

Layne (11:48.987)
no.

Hayley (12:04.363)
apps.

Christina (12:11.98)
I'm thinking of a- I love where this is going. Yeah, something did hor- something horrible with the dogs and was mean to the other one that I might-

just hope that doesn't happen.

steal the dog

Hayley (12:23.323)
Yeah, I mean that is unforgivable. That's unforgivable.

I ran off with all four pets.

All right, so like baby making, like the old fashioned way wasn't working out for you guys. At some point you go like, okay, we're not gonna keep, we're not gonna wait. We're gonna actually get some help here from science.

So we got married on August 20th, 2021. exactly two years ago today. So it was October of 2021 that we had an early pregnancy loss. And it was at that point that I think in my gut, I knew our path to parenthood would be a little more complicated than we had anticipated. Lane is an eternal optimist.

It was awesome.

Layne (13:13.486)
sure.

And I think remained hopeful a lot longer than I did that we would be able to start our family the old-fashioned way.

Was that old-fashioned of me to say the old-fashioned way?

I it. I like it. works. Yeah. So in May of 2022, I had been seen by a clinic at the IWK to kind of figure out what was going on. And they sent a referral on to the fertility clinics that we have here in Atlanta, Canada.

You live on Prince Edward Island, so that's quite a drive. Yeah. a lot of traveling.

Hayley (13:53.784)
Yeah. So I think we could have a whole other podcast on the state of women's healthcare in, Atlanta, Canada, but we'll save that for another, sure. Another soap box. and the only fertility clinics that we have available in Atlanta, Canada are in New Brunswick and Nova Scotia. So there was no option for us to access it locally on PEI to begin with. and the wait time for that we knew was going to be pretty long, about a year long, even to get.

seen by the specialist to do some of that deeper dive that I just had a gut feeling that we would need. So we kept trying naturally the old fashioned way until we got into the clinic about 10 months later in March of this past year in 2023. So it was a long season of waiting.

Up until that point, hope it's not gauche to ask, does this covered by your health card or like, I don't know what we have, like, you have to pay out of pocket for all of this, all these to see anybody?

Like the IWK was covered for like seeing services, but like the travel and accommodations isn't covered for us. So that's a little pocket.

As far as actual fertility treatment, depends. You know, I've jumped jobs a few times the last few years and some of those companies had really good coverage. And just the way the cards kind of fell, the one I'm at now doesn't really. They covered the medication, but not the actual visits and the actual treatment. That's a lot of pocket, but there are some grants through the government.

Hayley (15:40.846)
Yeah, so the Prince Edward Island government right now, it's fairly new, has a grant available to islanders seeking fertility services. And you can qualify for up to $10,000 or at a minimum $5,000 a year. So that's great. It's helpful. It's something exactly. It helps to kind of cover some of the costs because they do add up really quickly.

Yeah.

And it is expensive.

And so you've seen, well, now you've been through quite a lot of it. Now we have some good news, but can you tell us a little bit about the first steps to getting to the good news that you have right now? What had to happen? And I want to hear highs and lows.

Well, there's lots of both.

Hayley (16:39.063)
a lot of them.

Whatever you're comfortable sharing.

Yeah, I think the lowest part for me really was the waiting. Like the 18 or so months from August of 2021 to March of 2023 when we like really knew we wanted to grow our family and it just was like month after month of disappointment and sadness. And I think there was a lot of grief that we both had to work through as a couple.

through that season avoiding. And I think it, I see it like there were many turns in the road where I think our relationship could have been splintered quite a bit through that period especially. And I feel really lucky that right now I feel like we're really, really close. I feel like we're the closest we've ever been. So that's been a hot.

Yeah

Hayley (17:39.81)
That I feel like we've grown even closer together. But the season of waiting was the most challenging for me.

And I bet it can be, I bet you can imagine that for some couples maybe that are already struggling, let's say, it's hard enough to have a healthy relationship. When you're not trying to have a kid that you could see that it might be something that could break a relationship.

It's very stressful. There's so much sadness. There's so much grief. It's just a really stressful thing to have happen.

And people don't talk about it as the other thing. it's, you know, you don't, I don't know, I don't talk with my friends when they're like, you don't find out until, you know, we're having a baby and X amount of time. Like, you know, it's, it's not really something you talk about.

Pretty taboo.

Christina (18:38.786)
Yeah. Yeah. Do you think people would be uncomfortable talking about it just because they don't have that experience or are there a lot of like, people maybe don't know what to ask or there's a lot of concern from both ends that are we going to be upsetting somebody or, know, like, why do you think it is so hard to talk about?

All of the above. All of the above. I don't know. It's, yeah. I think it's just an uncomfortable topic for people.

And maybe do you guys sometimes feel like, I don't want to talk about it.

Absolutely.

I think probably you more so than me, you've become like very good at talking about it. I felt like bringing people in and sharing what was going on with other people who were in the same season of trying to conceive. Like I really didn't want to take away from like that blissful season that some people have of like starting out that

Hayley (19:45.708)
journey of trying to grow your family. And it's really special. And I didn't want to like have anyone look at us and be like, my gosh, we could like that could happen to us too, which in hindsight, like, was that the right thing to do? I don't know. That was a decision we made at the time. All of it is complicated. And like, it's like, nobody gives you a roadmap for how to like navigate any of this. And I think it's been kind of us feeling.

through the dark and trying to reach out for resources. I love researching, watching documentaries and reading articles and just trying to learn as much as I could about it because that made me feel a little less alone through it all. And then bringing them back to Lane and he watched a few of the documentaries with me and yeah, I would give the little synopsis of what I kind of learned.

Give me the Coles notes.

Christina (20:39.79)
Yeah. Well, was it, I mean, uh, because your body is having to be injected with things and you're going to have to carry this being. And do you think that, uh, is a, is it maybe a bigger reason why you're like watching maybe and researching a little more intensely than Lane perhaps? Lane's like, I'm good. I got the Coles notes, but, um, I mean, Lane,

No offense. I know this is immense for you as well. but there is, you're nothing is going into your body that we know of. Yeah. Yeah. Well, something had to come out at some point, but, but yeah. so embarrassing. Yeah. Nothing to be embarrassed of. We all know how babies are made. with science.

or coming out of.

Hayley (21:36.206)
I also think it's like personality differences. I, I am probably like, I'm more intense and a bit more detail oriented than lean on a good day. Yeah, we have, we have a binder full of everything and anything that we might need. is great. Yeah. But I think from the beginning, like we've very much been in this together. Like,

Haley has an IVF

Layne (21:54.424)
Very organized.

Hayley (22:04.502)
when we decided that fertility treatments was something that we wanted to pursue, we went into it with the mentality of like, we're on the same page or we're not stepping forward with the next step at all. Because I think that that was the only way we'd be able to kind of get through each step that we'd need to get through is being a hundred percent in it.

I think too, kind of prepared going into it that there's a few steps you can take before going full blown IVF. And we kind of knew from day one that we just wanted to just whatever gives us the best chance. was what we wanted to go.

Yeah. So like based on the tests that we both had, the preliminary testing, like we didn't have to jump right to IVF. They gave us some less invasive options, but like Lane said, I think we kind of took a, what to call it? Like a cost benefit analysis. we decided that IVF was what felt right for our family.

There you go.

Christina (23:08.738)
Was a spreadsheet involved in this lane?

I think there might have been at some point.

Absolutely, there would have been for you. Yeah. Absolutely.

spreadsheet. There's nothing wrong with that.

And can you explain why that would be relevant here, Lane? The spreadsheet? your mind of work?

Layne (23:27.566)
I have been called a spreadsheet wizard before. I don't claim that title for myself, but I have been thus described.

There you go.

Christina (23:39.904)
So would you say like where in terms of like a baby popping out of you, let's say that's like the end goal. I know then there's a whole lifetime of raising a child. But let's say that's the end goal here. Babies come out healthy, happy. Like are you guys halfway there? Because you've got some great news. bring it, what did you have to science wise? Like what did you have to put your body through to get to this?

I really hope so.

Christina (24:09.528)
good news point that you're going to tell us about.

Yeah. So once we decided we wanted to move forward with IVF, it took about four or five months. it? Yeah. To really kind of get into the thick of IVF, which involves, for us, what they call a mock transfer. So basically we would go in and the doctor made sure that the route they would need to take on the day of transferring an embryo that my anatomy, they knew.

how to navigate it and would be able to safely and effectively get an embryo back in my body. So that was step one for us. That was pretty important. And then after that, we had to wait a few weeks and for my protocol, which is obviously different for everybody, they had me on birth control for a few weeks. at our clinic, it makes scheduling easier if they can kind of regulate where

kind of important.

Christina (25:09.516)
You're saying.

The person is at in their cycle to schedule things based on when it would fit for their team. So that was my first step. and then once I stopped my birth control a few days later, we started on what they call an antagonist protocol. So that meant I was going to be, pumped with hormones that like simply put some of them would be growing.

as many follicles as we possibly could from my ovaries to be able to produce as many eggs as we possibly could. And then a few days after taking those ones, they give me another kind of injection again, every day that Lane would give me that would stop the follicles from ovulating. you want, it's kind of like,

Okay.

Hayley (26:08.888)
This is the analogy I've heard that you're growing like oranges on a tree and you want them to grow as big as they can, but you don't want them to fall off of the tree. so I had one medication that was growing the oranges and another one that was saying, don't fall off yet. and then a couple of days before my egg retrieval, they give you what's called a trigger shot. And that just prepares your body for the next step of like the doctor actually going in and.

retrieving as many eggs as they can. So that was a pretty intense, it was about 11 days for us have injections. we chose, the route of lane doing the injections.

I'm basically a doctor now.

Yes, I heard there was an interesting story.

I stabbed myself. Rip the bandaid off.

Christina (27:01.719)
Just...

Right to it.

Just first time injection, stab yourself.

Yeah, that was a rough first night.

Totally planned.

Christina (27:11.598)
Um, and how was that for you?

I had to know what it felt like.

it was traumatizing.

Yeah. And then you got back on the horse and you did it right away. You were able to give the injection successfully and you have since never stabbed yourself.

Yeah, that was the one and only time. Everything is like so timed. Like you really have to try as hard as you can to take the injections at the same time every day. So that event definitely pushed off our timeline a little bit. And that, yeah, was a little stressful. We definitely got better and like, my gosh, we had fabulous like friends and family who dropped off like care packages.

Christina (27:39.682)
Yes.

Layne (27:49.293)
We got

Hayley (27:58.254)
frozen band like the little like frozen character band-aids and just like Making us feel like we had people in our corner going through it. Yeah Yeah, and Lane had done up like a little like gift bag for me every day to open when I did the injections

stabbing themselves.

Layne (28:19.086)
Haley gives me all the credit but the part she leaves out is that she bought all of the things for her gift bags.

Okay, not quite. I picked out some of the items for it to make sure that...

You got what you want.

Layne (28:37.218)
I topped up your chocolate supply though, because I didn't think you bought enough chocolate.

That sounds like you guys made it a treat. We made a really stressful time a treat.

We have a series of pictures of Hailey with a number for what day of injections and a popsicle every day after the injections. They're pretty funny.

was really great, you guys, that you made it a treat.

We tried to make the best of a really shitty situation.

Layne (29:05.358)
because there was one injection that was really horrible.

Why what made it?

Like

It is the same needle as the other one, but it was just painful.

Yeah, but it's a lot more like I like no lie, like I would like not full out scream, but like, definitely. Yeah, I definitely let out some, some more, not even tears. I don't know. It just hurt a lot more.

Christina (29:23.384)
Drive.

Christina (29:32.546)
So you really gotta wanna have a baby.

That's the thing. Like if you're doing IVF, like, or if you're going through like infertility at all and like trying as much as you can, like you, you really want it. Our kids without a doubt, they are very much wanted and very much planned.

Like this kid is wanted. That's for sure.

Christina (29:57.75)
Deaf,

then

No accidents happening here.

It's incredible. It's really inspiring. I don't think I've ever wanted something as much as you guys want this kid. That's amazing.

Yeah, I think, and that's when you really have to be on the same page for us. Like it's a big commitment, like financially, it's a big commitment. Physically, emotionally, like it's...

Hayley (30:29.752)
You're gonna go through it.

So do you think it's good for people to know what they're getting into? Or do you think it's maybe better for them not to know because they may not? Like, do you think the knowing might actually deter somebody from making the decision?

mean, maybe for me, I'm someone who has to know everything before I make a decision. Like I want to know, I want to know what it could look like. I want to know where it could all possibly go wrong. I want to know. I just want to know. I want to be ready. I want to be prepared. And I want to be able to kind of pre-plan for anything that could go wrong. And always have like a plan, A, B, F, G and.

I want the Coles.

I to be ready, yeah.

Hayley (31:18.478)
probably further into the alphabet. So it's, yeah, so very much planned. 11 days a shot.

11 days of shots. Hormones are going wild. they're...

Yeah. So I was at a pretty high risk of developing what's called ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome. and that ended up, coming to fruition. That looks like really high estrogen levels. So my estrogen levels by day, like seven, eight of injections had really skyrocketed. So at that point I got a call from the clinic that

So that look like.

Hayley (31:58.088)
was essentially them telling me that I was no longer a candidate to be able to do what's called a fresh transfer. So that means if we were to get any embryos, they'd all have to be frozen. We couldn't try to put one back into my body right away because my hormone levels were really too high. Okay. And not only would that be dangerous, but having really high estrogen levels can also like prevent implantation. So prevent pregnancy. Okay. so I was actually really okay with that.

I, my body felt really gross and I, I just knew that I wouldn't be in the right head space to move forward with the next step of a transfer. but I know that can be a really emotional call to get for a lot of people and a lot of couples, because the wait is so long for everything and this is just making the wait longer and more expensive. so.

but you're like, yup, fine, whatever's best.

Yeah, and honestly, like that whole week feels like a fever dream. Like I feel like I was just like I had tunnel vision. Like I just wanted to get through it. Thankfully, I was able to take those two weeks off of work. So like I just needed to focus on getting through the days. Yeah.

and you're only just getting back to normal.

Hayley (33:20.174)
And I'm only just getting back to normal. I, I, I, yeah. And I'm really, I feel really blessed and grateful that we could make that work for us. Um, so on the day of the egg retrieval, we, which we've been calling the great egg hunt. We went in and were there bright and early in Moncton and they brought me into the like.

You needed that time.

Hayley (33:49.614)
prep room and then brought me into the surgical room and Lien was able to come into that room with me briefly while they kind of got me all set up. And then they started pumping me with all the meds to kind of put me under what they call conscious sedation. And I don't remember feeling a thing. And this is where I'm really happy that I spoke to other people who have gone through this and they said like,

ask for the meds, like don't be shy about asking for meds because I think notoriously, especially like in women's health, procedures are more painful than they need to be. And so the nurses were incredible. Like they were reading my body language and like really like making sure that they were staying on top of it. So for me, the agri-trivial process like was, I think as positive as it could have been.

And so as the doctor's going in and retrieving the eggs, like they're counting them like one, two. So like as you're on the table, like, you know how many eggs you're getting, which like, again, I vaguely remember, don't totally, I remember the beginning, but like, I don't remember beyond that, but I remember them getting the first two eggs, which was kind of cool. So we ended up getting 10 eggs. Yeah. her.

And what was our total count?

Wow. That sounds like a lot.

Hayley (35:14.956)
Yeah, and I think like eggs are like the number your numbers are so subjective and it's going to be different for everybody and I think for me I was expecting and hoping for more but I was really like I was really proud of having 10 too because it's like it's hard work growing eggs and and as soon as they told us that I had 10 I just like had this gut

feeling I said we're like, we're going to get five embryos and spoiler alert. Six days later, we got the call that we had six little blastocysts that had grown and were looking really good and had been frozen. Five. Oh, sorry. I was like, oh no, five day six we had. So on day six, we had five.

No.

Christina (36:04.022)
Yeah, Congratulations.

That was really...

I was like, what didn't you tell me?

Yeah, well actually technically

Technically we did have six blastocysts, but the way that our clinic does grading, if it doesn't reach a certain grade, then our clinic discards the blastocyst. So we had five blastocysts that our clinic graded as like an acceptable grade for them to freeze. So technically we did have six, but we had five quote unquote good quality.

Christina (36:38.126)
And you call them potential babies? Five chances.

I call them chances. We have five chances. We have five chances.

We're not going to name them all chance.

Yeah, hmm. Little chance. me a name though. my goodness.

Yeah. So like, I feel like it was weird because I was so hopped up on like medications and hormones, but I've never felt so in tune with my body. Like even when we were doing like the ultrasounds leading up to the ache retrieval, which for us, we had to go in several more times than I think we were expecting because they were monitoring me so closely because of my hormone levels. Which was good. Which was really good. Yeah.

Hayley (37:19.744)
So they, as they were doing the ultrasounds, I had like a couple, almost like, like visceral, I want to call it like a spiritual. I was just like, like that's the one about three of them. I like, I had a really strong reaction to three follicles. So I don't, I don't know what that means. Maybe I was just like really, could have been the drugs.

I think it was the drugs.

really high. But like, yeah.

I just, I don't know. It was a really interesting, fascinating experience. And I'm happy that that step is over.

This is, so right now you're in a bit of a blissful state. you're coming, your estrogen levels are now going down and then what's, how much longer until we can put those eggs in the oven? What's the next, like, is that the next step?

Hayley (38:04.449)
Yeah.

Hayley (38:22.464)
Yeah. Yeah. Our next step would be what they call a frozen embryo transfer. So they're wanting my levels to come back down. And then they told me to call back on my next cycle day one. And hopefully before then we have a call with our specialist, our doctor to kind of decide what protocol he's going to put me on. Because I am suspected to have endometriosis. Okay. We

I say we, the Royal we as in me and Lane, but me in particular, want to make sure that we're taking that into account as we do a frozen embryo transfer. I just, yeah. So I have a lot of questions for our doctor leading up to our next call, which I think has been a big lesson for like, you need to advocate for yourself and you need to ask all the questions and you need to kind of come prepared. And so we're just waiting on that call with.

with our doctor and depending on what he says and what the plan is, they're thinking like definitely this fall would be when we do our transfer.

He told us on our first consult, pregnant by autumn, we've been latching onto that. Binding agreement as far as I'm

So Lane's been holding on.

Hayley (39:42.37)
Yeah. So I think, I feel like right now we're in this state of like, like you said, like a blissful state, like we're feeling very hopeful, very optimistic. And honestly, I'm cherishing that because there hasn't been a whole lot of that so far. Journey for lack of.

in our

And I think we're still prepared that like things may not and you know, we could have some setbacks but overall I think we're

I mean, the stats are like, it's basically a 50-50 chance.

I like those odds.

Hayley (40:16.876)
I think we're, yeah, we're willing to bet. We've heard that it's like three embryos on average per what they call life birth. So I think there's a lot of science involved. Like there's a lot of strategic planning. I'm convinced now there's also magic too. Like really and truly there is. You're giving me the biggest eye roll, but there is. There has to be.

There's no magic left.

I do! We need something to hold on to.

tried that for the first two years and it didn't work.

Yeah.

Hayley (40:49.772)
Well, we need to bring it back in.

We need to keep Layne and Haley together, so maybe we'll change the subject on magic. But at least you guys can both agree on the science side of things. The magic, we're not a hundred percent, but even if just one of you, maybe that's where the 50-50 comes in. Only one of you who believes in magic and that's all you need. I'm with you on the magic side of things.

you

Hayley (41:05.848)
Be the science.

Christina (41:20.022)
I know it's super cheesy to say, but it's true, stories do have the power to heal and help. So I thank you so much for sharing this, your story. And I think it will help other people. I feel very privileged to be privy to your beautiful story.

Well, thanks for being in our corner. Yeah.

But I'll look out for you if you'll look out for me I'll look out for you if you'll look out for me

Christina (42:04.526)
So you're here and there's a baby in you.

We have a baby on the way.

And it's coming soon. Yeah, we're 10 weeks.

Nine weeks away.

Any weeks away like it happened. Okay, so bring us up to speed on How this happened You know what we last saw you we talked to you last August almost almost a year ago we went away y'all had to do this tough work and There were some highs and lows. Do you want to you want to kind of update us on that? And then I want to hear about The day you found out that it worked

Hayley (42:24.974)
It's been

Layne (42:45.358)
Do you want to? OK, so September.

I was gonna say, you can start with the September.

You guys are really good at this by the way. I remember last time I was like, wow, have they been on the news and prepped for this?

We just talk about it a lot. We process it a lot.

It's all consuming. consuming. don't know. So September, we had our first transfer, which was not successful. Thus, first transfer. So transfers when they take the embryo and they stick it in the uterus.

Christina (43:04.16)
Okay, yeah.

Christina (43:12.29)
What's a transfer again?

Christina (43:19.278)
Stick it in.

That's all it is. Now they'll choose like your typically they'll choose your most like highly graded embryo and you lost the high I know Primo. Yeah, El Primo So for us we did what they call a natural cycle so we didn't do like a lead-up where you would do like down regulation with a whole bunch of different medications and then essentially

Great.

Stick around, unfortunately.

Hayley (43:49.364)
used medications to simulate like a menstrual cycle in your body. We just kind of followed my own system and my own cycle and didn't do any additional medication other than a little bit of supplementation with progesterone. And we were supposed to do a trigger shot.

Which I messed up.

Trigger shot. that, what does the trigger shot do again?

So it triggers ovulation. So you would know exactly when you would ovulate. then because so our embryo is technically a five day old embryo. So you would want to do the transfer like five days after your ovulation would have happened. So the trigger shot allows you to like time that. So you would know exactly when you would want to do the transfer. And in the September cycle,

Lane fucked it up. Way go, Lane.

Layne (44:45.71)
I did. Yeah, you know, and it was it one of those things that like it wasn't anyone's fault.

He fucked it up.

Christina (44:53.152)
It was your f-

I stand by this. Okay, it was my fault.

yeah, I know the full story.

It was a comedy of errors. that's, know, these things happen. We did mess it up.

There were no clear instructions in my getting up.

Hayley (45:08.716)
Miscommunication.

Communication. There were clear instructions that didn't make it to my table as I was preparing the injection. So we didn't do the full trigger shot. So then we had to go back to Moncton a whole bunch of times in a hurricane while Haley had to go back. And it didn't work was the long story short is that that transfer did not work. yeah, so October was a rough month for us and the end of September.

Gotcha.

Christina (45:25.1)
Awesome.

Hayley (45:38.022)
I think for us October was just kind of about figuring out where we were both mentally, letting my body kind of recover physically and just trying to see when we'd feel ready to try again. Because I don't think we were expecting that embryo transfer process to be as exhausting and stressful as it was.

And I don't think we expected it to not work despite, you know, lots of evidence and lots of like warnings that like it's totally normal for it to not work. I think we kind of went in like, of course this is gonna work.

Yeah.

We so much naive optimism.

But that was okay.

Hayley (46:16.216)
Yeah.

I'm here.

I mean long term, yeah, you know, because it yeah, I think where we're at now like

yeah, right now, there's a baby right in front of me in your belly.

So we can't imagine it going any other way.

Christina (46:29.068)
Yeah. I just mean there were bad days. It wasn't great to find out. It sucked. wasn't as easy as you thought it would be to process the news of that is what I'm gathering.

Yeah, it was devastating and like, we also weren't really testing because a lot of people will test at home. So they kind of know whether it worked or not. And we just, decided not to. so it was, it was a bit of a, yeah, was kind of a crushing blow when, okay, it really didn't work. Not an easy phone call for us.

Yes.

Christina (47:00.43)
Yeah, yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, so when

When, how long did it take you to decide, okay, no, we're ready to try again.

Almost immediately. But we knew we couldn't do it like we knew we needed a bit of a break.

Christina (47:12.366)
yeah?

Hayley (47:16.99)
Yeah, we knew the next cycle, like we knew October was not going to be it. Yeah. But our doctor gave us the option of taking October to kind of do a little bit of additional testing, letting kind of my body feel a little bit better. So we did take them up on that option to kind of get us ready for the November embryo transfer. But October was hard.

But we knew it wouldn't be long.

Christina (47:45.513)
Yeah, it was.

Definitely a exhausting month, but I feel like we both felt like we needed to do some just healing.

Yeah. And then I think in November we decided it was time for our next transfer. the first time we went in, it was going to work. We were super optimistic. The second time we went in and we were both kind of like, well, it's not going to work.

total flip and like I remember like the day before we went in just thinking like this isn't gonna work and is it really worth it to do it again after this which in hindsight was a silly you know mindset to go in with but that's that's where we were at

I think our energy was so low that we were really questioning how many more times can we do this and get an unsuccessful result because it was a really hard blow. I think obviously we'd had so many times of seeing negative tests before. It's not like that was new to us, but just knowing how much we'd put into it financially, the time.

Hayley (48:56.728)
physically, emotionally, like you pour so much into it that when it's a negative, it's like, know what square one is going to look like.

And then the day you got the news, like what described, where were you? What happened?

I had been taking those two weeks off of work, just kind of hanging out at home, keeping stress as low as it could be.

Drinking lots. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly.

Layne (49:28.384)
doing all the things I tell you not to do. Drinking lots of water.

A lot of water, eating lots of good food, sleeping lots. And so we were both home when we got the call. I think I was just setting up my craft room to keep my hands busy because we knew the call was coming that day because we'd gotten our blood work done that morning. So we were kind of just waiting on pins and needles in anticipation for the nurse to give us a ring.

My phone started ringing a little earlier than I thought it would. I frantically got Lane and we put the phone on speaker.

And then nurse was very casual about it because I think they just assumed that everyone is testing before the actual test. they thought we knew. So the nurse is like, yeah, I'm just calling to confirm that you're pregnant. And we're like, what? she's like, yeah, you're very pregnant. So Haley's numbers were like, I forget how much high, it was like crazy high numbers.

Typically around that time, it was 10 days after our transfer, like a hundred would have been like a number that they'd be excited to see and I was about at 800. I was just so positive and optimistic and they did tell me, think four days later I went in for another blood draw just to confirm that things were still moving along. But it was pretty awesome phone call.

Christina (50:49.654)
Sooo, she-

Christina (51:09.567)
my. Were you feeling anything in your body change around that time? you like, maybe I'm pregnant because...

Best phone call ever.

Layne (51:17.515)
What?

Well, it's funny, the first transfer, I was like convinced that it had worked because I was like feeling so many different things in my body. And maybe I was convincing myself that I felt them or maybe it was just like, because I was taking that progesterone as a supplement and maybe it was that. But this time around, I felt like almost nothing. Like I, the only thing that kind of changed was I had like a little bit of aversion to food that I had really been liking.

at beginning of the transfer. And then I really only wanted to eat like bread and fruit by the end of those two weeks. But in my mind, I was like, well, last time I had so many symptoms and it didn't work. So I was kind of more thinking that it probably hadn't worked because I wasn't feeling any difference. a week later, I felt very different and the nausea and vomiting had kicked in to high gear.

Yeah.

Low and behold.

Hayley (52:16.034)
So it didn't take long.

Yeah, and you've had a nauseating pregnancy.

Hmm, yeah, probably until 20 weeks. It was pretty intense.

You're a trooper though.

I think we're just so grateful to be on this side of IVF, because it's not a guarantee. And I think we knew that, but we hoped that we would be on this side. And I think that feeling of being the luckiest people on the planet hasn't been something that we've been able to shake.

Christina (52:51.253)
my god, I love-

it.

you

Layne (53:10.037)
there we go.

Well, let me say, I've said it before probably, but let me say officially to the world, congratulations, you did it. Okay, what, don't like there's like, you had the baby and then, okay, one of the burning questions I have is like, I hear they say when you have a baby, you get this like a feeling of love like you've never had before. And is that true or do you actually, is that like?

Thank you.

Christina (53:40.59)
Total BS.

it's so.

I think for us. Yeah. So true.

Was it like something you were like, I had no idea until...

I like, mean, throughout the whole IVF process, I think we both knew that meeting our child would be incredible. But like when the moment happened and they put him on my chest for the first time, I don't even know if I could describe it.

Layne (54:11.734)
Yeah, can't really prepare for it. think we felt like IVF had maybe prepared us in some ways and it's funny in hindsight to be like, that was foolish. It didn't prepare us for some of those feelings.

Okay, so does that feeling ever go away or is it like there to stay? Because it's been like how long now? Almost a year?

Almost a In a couple of weeks, he'll be one whole year old.

I don't know, it's so corny because people are like, it just gets better every day. And you roll your eyes, you go, my God, I can't listen to this person talk anymore. But it is true. does. Not that there's not hard days, but it does just get better and better.

Yeah, I think like that's the thing. Like there are really hard moments and harder days than others. But I think the constant thrill of that for us has just been like this absolute adoration of this child.

Layne (54:57.644)
I'm sure.

you

Layne (55:09.496)
pretty

drummer, Lane would love it if one day Stanley was a little drummer.

That'd be great, because you'd have all the support, I'm sure, from you guys, like in the music department.

make all the noise he wants.

Are there things you're, what are you most looking forward to with Stanley? I mean, I there's a whole lifetime, but like in the next 10 years, are you pumped about like reading, standing, walking? Or are you like, no, maybe sleeping?

Hayley (55:47.464)
Sleeping through the night will be incredible. Still haven't done that yet.

Dale wins, it's definitely...

Layne (55:55.47)
I think just getting to know like, you every day we get to know his personality a little bit more. And just like seeing like, even now it's like, you know, we know who he is so much more than a year ago. And next year it'll be even more so. And I just think by the time he's 10, it's like, you know, we'll have some idea of who he is that we don't now. And I just think that's really cool.

words out of my mouth.

Hayley (56:18.862)
That is cool. Like the newborn days were really hard because like we had no idea who this little baby was. We didn't know what he needed. Like we were just guessing at everything, every step of the way. And he had a really challenging first three months. Like it was not easy for him. And now looking back, just being like, Oh my gosh, I wish that we'd known then what we know now about him. And I feel like we're just going to have that happen all the time, the rest of his life.

You guys are great parents. I called it. did, didn't I? Didn't I? Guys, don't be humble. Come on. was like, you're gonna be awesome parents. said it. And then you... Yeah, we'll find, we'll pull up the other times I said it. Yeah.

So.

Layne (56:54.881)
Maybe.

Layne (57:03.668)
Insert sound bite here.

We are trying our best and I think that's all we can do. That is all we That all we can do. I that we're doing what we can for him and just loving every little fiber of his being.

we can do.

Christina (57:15.106)
Yeah, you're allowed to have.

Christina (57:23.854)
Thank for being our guest three times in one episode.

We've actually just been here the whole time. So we've been sitting at these mics for like a year and a half.

Yes.

You

We delivered Stanley. But we've opted to keep that episode private.

Christina (57:47.95)
I say goodbye to you

Christina (57:54.826)
I don't wanna say goodbye to you

Christina (58:03.502)
Welcome to the Heartbeat Hotline, 1902-669-4769. I'm the host of a Chat with Heart podcast, Christina Martin, and I'm so excited you called. Leave me your question, a suggestion for the podcast, or a comment about this episode. Please be aware your message may be used on the podcast and social media. Tell me your name, where you're calling from, and it's also fine if you want to remain anonymous. Thanks for listening.

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