Kristen Martell - Canadian Singer-Songwriter

Christina chats with Nova Scotia Singer-Songwriter Kristen Martell about trauma being a catalyst that helped Kristen return to music, aging and beauty (as women) in the music industry, planning a good retreat, and all the work that goes into staying on a path with heart . 

With multiple ECMA and Music Nova Scotia award nominations since her return to music in 2020, she is making a name for herself in the East Coast music scene and beyond.  Her latest album 'Every Season' (Sept 30, 2022) is her most confident, self-assured and emotionally compelling work to date. It was also nominated for the 2023 ECMA ‘Album of the Year’ and ‘Folk Recording of the Year’.  

Chapters

• 0:00 Greetings from Christina
• 0:30 Theme Song - Talk About It
• 0:56 Introduction by Christina
• 5:35 Making music during the pandemic
• 9:15 Turning point for Kristen and music
• 13:58 Health scare
• 16:45 Death as a catalyst for life
• 17:34 Trust
• 18:28 Navigating conflict
• 21:50 Breaking negative patterns
• 28:59 Being open to the future
• 31:39 Ageism and beauty in the music industry
• 36:16 Drama and expression in music
• 40:46 How do you recharge?
• 46:54 What Kristen's excited about coming up!
• 48:41 Heartbeat Hotline 1(902)-669-4769
• 49:14 Podcast Credits
• 49:37 Support the Podcast on Patreon

Transcript

Kristen Martell

Christina: [00:00:02] Welcome to A Chat with Heart podcast. I'm your host, Christina Martin. I'm here to help guide heartfelt conversations with new and old friends I've met from just being alive or touring my music around North America and other parts of the world. I chat with people I feel a kinship with and that I genuinely believe we can learn from. Our personal stories have great power to heal, influence and inspire. All we have to do is show up for the conversation.

Podcast Theme Song 'Talk About It': [00:00:30] If we just talk about it, we could shine a light, we can break a dark day. If we just talk about it, we can cut a way, we can make a brighter day.

Christina: [00:00:56] Hi. We've had to restart this intro multiple times because I just. I'm tired, but I'm happy. I'm tired and I'm happy. We just got back from the beach. And the reason I'm am tired is because we had a wonderful weekend with friends. Our friends, Melissa and Jeremy came up overnight and then we had a breakfast today with Melissa, Jeremy, Tony, Angela And it was great. Melissa By the way, Season one, episode eight Melissa Churchill. Check out the episode if you haven't. Thank you for being here. If you're new, a new listener, new little heart beat listener, I appreciate you giving us a shot here. And this time you're spent going to spend with us and me and my special guest today. And if you've been following this whole time, it's it's been a couple years now. Well, this is year two. Season two. Thank you so much. This is fun. I really enjoy this. Um, we had a beach walk. It was stunning. It's that time of year where Dale and I almost every day that we're home, we'll find out when the tide is going way out, and we will go and walk for about 45 minutes. And it's so fun. And there's all kinds of gross stuff that's on the beach, like sand sharks and snakes and worms and quahogs and other things that stick up and slurp and squirt water. It's very exciting. I wear my rubber boots because I don't want to have to look down and I don't want to step on anything. And, you know, I just love it. It's great.

Christina: [00:02:40] I didn't make it sound like I enjoyed it, but I. I really do. My guest today, I really enjoyed this chat. Now, I do record some of these like when I have time, and then it takes us a while to edit them sometimes. So this was recorded a few months ago. It doesn't matter. It's still relevant. My guest today is kicking ass. The pandemic did not slow her down, as you'll find out. France, my little heartbeat listener, My dear friend France, Kristen Martell is my guest today. She's a multi East Coast Music and Music Nova Scotia Award nominee and all that's happened since her return to music in 2020. So in a very short time, she's done a lot of recordings, released a bunch of stuff and, um, and been nominated and she's just everywhere. It's great. And she seems to be really on a big path with heart. She lives in the south shore of Nova Scotia, France, um, with her husband and two kids. Frances gave me some tips, like maybe I should give a little bit more information on like, where are my guests from, where do they live, what's up with that? Because it's fun to know and I think that's a great tip. So I'm going to make the effort. I forget sometimes. So I rely on my little heartbeat listeners telling me, you know, giving me feedback and whatnot. You can leave a review or send DM me on one of my social media or send me an email or you can call the heartbeat hotline. Um, the numbers at the end of each episode of the podcast or on my website on the podcast page.

Christina: [00:04:15] So yeah. Kristen, my guest today is a delight. Her latest album 'Every Season', which came out in 2022, it's her most confident, self-assured and emotionally compelling work to date, and it was up for two ECMA awards this year, Album of the year and folk recording of the year. That's a great accomplishment. I really love getting to have one on one conversation with my guests because, you know, there's no distractions when we're doing that and life's just full of distractions. Anyway. Kristen talks about how trauma can be a catalyst for change. I totally believe that. We chat about how thinking about your own death can bring clarity on how you want to spend your time in this life. I also believe that's a really good practice. I quite enjoyed this chat and I'm looking forward to more great music from Kristen in the future and she's on a super strong path with Heart for sure. I hope you enjoy my chat with Kristen Martell. Oh, and she just launched a live EP called Stonehouse Sessions, so please check that out. Thanks for listening.

Christina: [00:05:35] So like, I received a message from you on my Instagram. Along the lines of you said something like, I'd love to chat about how a cancer scare, a relationship breakup, family drama and the murder of my uncle all snapped me back into place and I returned to music for healing. And I was like, What the fuck? That's a five part, like five season Netflix series.

Kristen: [00:05:55] Uh.Could be, I guess.

Christina: [00:05:59] Let's start off with how things are going for you. You know, since COVID started. 

Kristen: [00:06:04] Honestly. I really just entered the music industry. Then, um, cheers. Cheers to that. So, like, I released my first single in November 2019, and I had another single in February. And, you know, my album was coming out in April. And so like March, everything like the world stopped. So it was it was a very strange time. I was really gearing up and excited to finally be getting back into music because I had been away from it for so long.

Christina: [00:06:35] So you had you had been involved with music before?

Kristen: [00:06:39] Yeah. So like, you know, music's always been a part of my life. You know, I grew up my grandfather was a multi-instrumentalist and, you know, I did the whole piano thing growing up and school band, and it was just always, always there. And I only came to play guitar in my 20s, but I discovered I liked songwriting in my 20s. And so like in the early 2000, I was I was playing around here in Nova Scotia quite a bit. Never actually did record an album, had aspirations to, but kind of stopped myself and I focused on my my career at the time. So then, yeah, fast forward 2019, um, I made this lofty goal of finally recording an album. And, and looking back, I kind of did it all in record time knowing now that I know how much goes into it. So I was just starting that process when the pandemic hit, really, I was just starting to gain some momentum. So it was really hard. I was like, Oh my God, all this work and now what? You know, I had considered delaying the album. I really didn't know what to do. I ended up just continuing and I and I went online and and did like weekly shows, you know, like everybody was doing. And I ended up doing some online, you know, early on I think it was Folk Alliance went completely online that February and jumped on that. And the interesting thing is I met I think I really did develop a fan base and I networked with a lot of other artists and a lot of other folks in the industry that, you know, looking back, I don't know if I could have made all the contacts I did without the pandemic. I know it sounds strange, but there's like a.

Christina: [00:08:23] Thank you pandemic. Thank you.

Kristen: [00:08:24] Well, you got to look at the bright side sometimes. I mean, I kind of I wish it never happened, but I'm kind of curious when I look back to see what, you know, how things would have played out, because everybody was online. There was an audience, and I have a young family, so it was a lot easier to connect with folks without having to leave, leave my home. And so there were definitely some benefits. Now I'm quite happy that we're not there anymore and that we can we can go on the road again. But yeah, yeah. So I've been mostly performing regionally within the Maritimes, but this spring I have plans underway to head out to Ontario, my first time out of the Atlantic region, so that's exciting.

Christina: [00:09:09] That's awesome. Congrats.

Kristen: [00:09:10] Yeah. And in this last two years I've had two records out, so pretty thrilled about that.

Christina: [00:09:15] Yeah. It sounds like you really made a decision to switch over and start making this a big, bigger part of your life. Is this is this the is this is this where we can get into the Netflix series? What what happened?

Kristen: [00:09:34] Why, what happened? Why the big shift? Yeah, I mean, a lot of things. Um, you know, life throws you a lot of a lot of curveballs. And I mentioned earlier, I have a I have a young family. I guess they're not so young anymore. But I quit my career, which was a tough, really tough decision because I had a government, good, steady government job, you know.

Christina: [00:09:57] And what were you doing for the government?

Kristen: [00:10:01] Well, actually, when I quit, I was working for another company. But most of my career I was I worked with Department of Environment, so I was in the environmental management industry. Okay. Which was which was great. But it took a lot of time. And when I had children, I realized I really couldn't do both well. I felt like I was failing. My family felt like I was failing my employer or just wasn't meeting the expectations of either. And I was just fortunate enough to be in a position that I could stay home. But it was still a really tough decision. So I was home for a while and I always knew that after the kids. Got a little older that I'd want to do something for myself and looked at going back to work, but nothing quite fit. You know, kids get out of school at 2:00 till or 2 or 3:00 till like they're in their teens. It's crazy. I don't know how parents do it, but anyway, yeah. Um, so this idea of music was coming up, but primarily what really sparked it was a lot of trauma that was happening in my life. It was around 2000. 2017 was an awful, awful year for me, but it was a catalyst for change, I guess.

Kristen: [00:11:09] Um, I guess a start would have been the really the passing, the tragic passing of my uncle. Um, you know, I don't really want to get into details about that. I'm just starting to talk about it. It's been. It's been six years since he passed. Very tragically. And it. Our whole family still to this day. I think it just jolted everybody. You know, it's just kind of a slap in the face, like, how could this happen? The wise and just realizing how unpredictable and short life is. And I see it now in my family. A lot of folks like are still there's been some major shifts in all of our families. Some have moved away. Some have changed careers, some there's quarrels even in our family that I think it's due to the trauma. Right. That we're still it's still very hard to face. And for me, I remember when it happened, I was just I was just so drawn to get back to my guitar and just so drawn. Like I even remember at the funeral, I was like, so much music was happening in my head and like, music has always been healing, but it really became obvious and I was like, Oh, I've got to get back. I've got to get back to this.

Kristen: [00:12:22] And happening in around that time to do. We had some some family challenges. Just some breakdowns. And it was really stressful for for my immediate for my family and having some relationship challenges in in amongst that. And just like life just seemed to be falling apart, you know, nothing was stable anymore. And, um, and I think I just needed some grounding and I needed some way to make sense of the world and sense of these really huge, big emotions that I was feeling and, um, just kind of hid away in a room and would would play and mess around with my guitar and, and, you know, I wrote so many songs during that year and they just really helped me, helped me get through. Yeah. And when I started sharing them with folks. It's kind of interesting hearing how people were relating with some of the themes or just relating with the messages or I didn't expect that. So it reignited. It reignited my interest to start sharing again. You know, that's just started creeping in. Yeah. And. I guess you said, Yeah, this was like a Netflix series. And you're probably right because I remember the next thing that happened.

Christina: [00:13:41] Oh my gosh, I had a Do you need a break? Do you need. Do you need to take a pause? Like sometimes my guests do and I do not. I'm fine. I'm fine. But are you okay?

Kristen: [00:13:50] Well, I know. I'm kind of grazing the surface. If there's anything like. Feel free to ask me questions at any point. If you want to dig, dig deeper. But. 

Christina: [00:13:57] I will. I will.

Kristen: [00:13:58] It was. It was early 2009. 2000? Yeah. Early 2019. I had a breast cancer scare and there's a lot of cancer in my family, so. You know, it felt very real, like, I don't know, lots of folks get these false false positives and everything turned out fine. But at the time it was very scary. Life again just seemed very uncertain. And. I remember thinking that day when my results came back fine. It was like an epiphany. It's like if I wake up on my deathbed and I have not shared my music with the world, I will be so upset, so sad. And it just it just became so clear. And I remember the day I decided I'm like, I'm going to I'm going to record an album. That was April. In November, I had my first single out.

Christina: [00:14:53] Amazing. You really don't waste time when you make a decision.

Kristen: [00:14:57] No. And I mean, again, thinking of it now, I thought it was going too slow then, but now, knowing the process like that was pretty quick. But yeah, it just became very, very clear. And so for me, the music writing and sharing it is a very personal journey and I think it is for most artists, right? But being able to share it and knowing that other people can benefit from it and other people can find their own messages and it's healing for other people as well. It's like, why would I not share this? You know, there was a time I was so scared or, you know, it's always it always feels a bit vulnerable.

Christina: [00:15:35] It's funny how these crises in our lives. Can do that for for some of us like it has for me, I can totally relate. Somebody is sick. That's a huge part of your life. Somebody dies, somebody murdered. You know, I've I've shared on this podcast just about how my brother's my half brother, who I grew up with. His mother was murdered brutally. And and although we never really we never talked about it as a family, you know, it's hard to and he, you know, he didn't have the tools to process, you know, at that when he was young and just watching, you know, having people in my own life, having health scares, not having those, I think my life would be very different. I was on a different path. You know, I guess it's hard to say. Like you could tell people about these things and these experiences and how they brought you to this realization. You could talk about it left, right and center, but until you experience it for yourself, I think it just may not have the same effect. Like when I'm making decisions, I actually think of my death and I don't know when that's going to be, but.

Kristen: [00:16:45] You never know, right?

Christina: [00:16:46] No, I know. I mean, I ask myself, you know, am I going to regret spending my time doing this or is this something that I will have wanted to look back on? I wish I had done that. And and it's helped me make decisions that were scary for to make. And it sounds like just that, you know, tsunami of of crisis and drama. Trauma and drama. Really helped you. Um, you know, in a way. Have you practice your gifts again?

Kristen: [00:17:21] I guess. Trying to trust. Like, I'm not. I'm not a religious person. I guess you could call me spiritual. I don't know. I'm spiritual. Sure.

Christina: [00:17:30] Yeah. Yeah. If you're a songwriter, I think you're spiritual. I think. 

Kristen: [00:17:34] I'm trying to trust more in all these things that come, come our way. Trusting that they're I don't I don't necessarily like the saying everything happens for a reason, but but it is a hard one to trust that I'll and have the confidence that I'll find my way through it and that I'll learn something and that there's something for me in there that I can take away and be better from. You know, I guess every every challenge that comes your way, you can face it with that lens. And you're better off like making something of it, like, because it could go the other way, you know?

Christina: [00:18:12] Yeah, when someone comes at you, let's say it doesn't matter, it could be a family or a friend. And, you know, you're, you're experiencing like a conflict with that person. Do you, are you the kind of person that takes the high road always?

Kristen: [00:18:28] Yeah I, I avoid I'm an avoider. Like I avoid conflict sometimes to my detriment. Okay. So I'm learning. I'm learning to speak up more when I need to, but it's hard for me because I don't like conflict. And I think it's primarily because of there was a lot of conflict in my household as a young at a young age, and it's just don't want to go there. Um, so I, I'm a, I'm an avoider. So but that's not healthy either. You need to have the balance of being able to to stand up and say what you need to say and not just zone out. Um, so I work on that, but I don't get it perfect all the time. When music music gives me that opportunity, it's like that outlet. It's like a safe space where I can, you know, express myself in a poetic way or right on the nose or whatever I need to at the time. And the music kind of softens the edges a little bit of that emotion that maybe I might be trying to avoid, right? Or that anger or that sadness or whatever it is. And and it seems like it's just it eases me into it. Um, and it's a bit more forgiving and I'm allowed to be dramatic in my music, you know, I'm allowed to. 

Christina: [00:19:53] Love the drama.

Kristen: [00:19:54] Yeah. All that, all that emotion. It's, it's easier for me too. So I think that's why songwriting and it just is very important part of my life and my journey too, because things that I might avoid and suppress and numb out well when I'm writing, I can't do that. Right. I've got to yeah, got to dig deep. And sometimes it's really it's really messy, the song writing process.

Christina: [00:20:17] Oh, yeah, I completely agree. And yeah, yeah. I've used songwriting for the same reasons that you have, not knowing how to talk about the tough stuff. It's been a big part of my own personal mission is learning how to talk about the tough stuff, and. 

Kristen: [00:20:34] We weren't really taught right like we were. We're of the same. Yeah, Yeah.

Christina: [00:20:39] Like I do believe there's certain, you know, brilliance in knowing when to walk away from a conflict or not to engage or throw fuel on the fire. But I have to set boundaries and I actually need to let somebody know, you know, is also important. So figuring that out, I mean, I'm still working on it myself, but. 

Kristen: [00:21:08] I don't think we ever we ever stopped working on it. Right.

Christina: [00:21:10] But it's no, but it's so important and I've, I've watched I've just seen the difference in the power in, you know, coming at a difficult conversation, always with compassion, thinking, thinking a lot about it first and writing it down sometimes and what are my you know and and seeing almost an immediate, you know, positive result from that versus just continued negative patterns and pain. So so I'm totally dedicated. It's not I'm not saying I'm an expert. I'm not, but I'm dedicated to that. And but it's hard, man.

Christina: [00:21:50] What's an example of that? You're comfortable sharing of a pattern that you feel like you really have broken, like a negative pattern. And how did the fuck did you do that?

Kristen: [00:22:04] This whole numbing out thing, you know? Yeah. Like, I think the first thing is just being aware that you do it and trying to recognize the triggers and being aware of what happens in your body. You know, when this happens, like I get tightness in my throat and in my chest, you know, when there's either when it's when there's it's either a topic or a topic or a person or, you know, there's this conflict or something. And then I tighten up and my body tightens up and I'll notice even my across my legs, my arms will be and I'll just be like making myself as small and as, you know, safe. It's really it's it for me, it goes back to being safe. I have a, um, issues feeling safety. So anytime there's like a threat and for me that's conflict or whatever, like that's when I go into that mode. Yeah. Um, and that's the physical side. But then like emotionally, mentally, I'm like tuned out. People can have conversations with me and I really don't remember or I don't hear it or like I'm like, not there. Um, so the first step is like just recognizing those early triggers, right? Those early warnings.

Kristen: [00:23:25] And I'm starting to see it more. And there's certain topics or conversations with my partner that I know, okay, this is tricky. This is likely where I'm going to get into this pattern again. And it helps to know that. So if you're going into a topic that you know is going to be tricky, like it's it's helpful to know that and to whoever you're talking to, that's your partner or a friend or whatever, that they know that too, and what your triggers are. Because it it is this feedback loop, Right? Right. It's so interesting.

Christina: [00:23:54] Yeah. Yeah. Um,

Kristen: [00:23:56] So I'm starting to recognize that and trying to be more, more open, more vulnerable, and just sometimes even just telling myself I'm safe, I'm safe, I'm here, I'm in my body. I like I take note of, okay, the feeling of the chair against my body or the fact. Fabric against my leg or, you know, whatever. Like you try and stay present, right? Try and get back in your body and talk to yourself. Yeah, that's what's helped me. But, you know, I'm still working on it.

Christina: [00:24:27] Good. I'm glad you are. I've had those conversations with my partner with Dale. I was married before. You know, I've had other. I didn't know that. Yeah. Yeah. And I wasn't. I was not interested in dealing with my dark shit, my dark trauma from when I was young. And. And it got the better of me and my relationships. And I was finally I finally felt like I had no other choice with when I was in a relationship with my current husband before we were married. If I wanted to have this like I wanted to have a healthy relationship, I just wanted that. And to feel healthy myself. If I wanted that, I had to take that leap. I had to be brave and say all the things I was so terrified to say, for fear of being told I was, you know, like making it up, like gaslighting, which I have experienced, or just not feeling like anyone's listening. Just that I was a bad person. Like I had a lot of shame and all the thoughts and I didn't even understand where it was all coming from. Luckily, like my partner was, Dale was, God he was so patient and he listened to everything and I started identifying my triggers and, and, you know, they sound messed up like when I would say them out loud. But the one thing that and it's taken years and years and I still you know, I still work on some of these things and and betrayal trust issues like are a big one for me and feeling safe. Um, like like someone I love isn't going to hurt me. Um, but I am after so many fucking years, I'm, I'm happy to say that I don't feel the same way I did back then. And I'm not as triggered. And I can watch shows, listen to topics, have conversations that and not cry or tense up or, you know, feel like that. So things can change. Things can change. And whenever I experienced something really tough or a difficult relationship, which I have even in recent years with people close to me. Oh, I just remember that. That this a friend told me that once, like, you might feel this way Now about this, if you're dedicated to working on it. Like, you might not feel that way about it someday.

Kristen: [00:27:05] It's so interesting when you're you were talking about like your, you know, I relate to a lot of things. You're saying like, like I had a good childhood, but my parents split up when I was young. And I mean, a lot of us, that's not uncommon for a lot of folks. Yeah, me too. That's what I was reading between the lines here. But it was a very, very chaotic time. And in your formative years, you know, my parents are good parents, and I don't want to say anything negative there. I have a good relationship with both of them. But in your formative years, like from three to well, from birth really, to to five and seven, like there's a big imprint there. So anything that happens in those early years like it has, it has lasting effects. And it could be something as simple. Like, again, children perceive their environment so differently than an adult. So something that might seem so minuscule to an adult can have a big lasting impression on a child. I mean, I hope I'm raising my children well with all this in mind, but who knows when they're 20 and they something I did when they were four, that is stuck with them. Like, who knows, Right. But it's important that we recognize all those feelings are valid. And that we're not wrong in feeling them. Like you said, that shame and sometimes just voicing them. It like removes the weight of those feelings and whatever it is, you know, and if you can't voice it, writing it down and burning it, if you don't want someone to read it, you know, just.

Christina: [00:28:33] Been there, done that,

Kristen: [00:28:34] Just getting it off, you know, getting it out. Yeah. And yeah, that it's valid that all of it's valid even though. Maybe the person that did whatever you're talking about doesn't feel that way and be trying to minimize it. I guess you just have to trust yourself and remind yourself that it is valid. But you got to move past it, right?

Christina: [00:28:59] When I was listening to your songs, I was hearing these themes of like, breathing and like, coming home to yourself maybe, and just looking after yourself. So, I mean. Compared to 2017, even maybe two years ago on the health spectrum. You know, how are you? How are you feeling these days?

Kristen: [00:29:29] Yeah, well, I think it's always. There's always progress and there's always ups and downs. Certainly in a much better place from where I was in in 2017, 2018. And I'm feeling good. You're right. My my first album, Coming Home was all about like, yeah, rediscovering who I was, I guess, coming home to myself. And so those themes are very strong in that album. And I say that like my next album, which I know we haven't talked about yet, but a lot of those, the themes in in every season are all about celebrating the changes that happen along the way once you are home, you know, saying the analogy that when you know you buy an old house or you come home and you've been away for a long while, there's a lot of renovations you got to do. Always remodeling.

Christina: [00:30:14] Always renos. Yeah, Good analogy, Good analogy.

Kristen: [00:30:18] So I'm still very much in that in that phase. And funny you say like I'm, I'm in between projects now or I'm, you know, looking at starting some new ones and I'm feeling, feeling this shift happening again and I don't know exactly what it is, but being open to it, I guess, and being open to whatever comes my way or feelings or and then trying to flow with it and honor it. But I'm feeling good. I'm feeling, I guess, more secure. I'm feeling more confident in my ability to to deal with with change and whatever might come my way. And that trust, you know, I have definitely more trust. So so in that sense, I feel I've grown and that comes with age and time too, right? Like I turned 40 in the last summer. Congrats. Congrats. Yeah. Yeah. I was a little sheepish about it and. But I. But you know, it does. It's a milestone and I wouldn't have the same perspective in my 20s Like, I guess I don't want to go back to that because I'm so much stronger emotionally and mentally now than I ever was. I guess that they say that just keeps that just keeps happening the older you get. Um, so I'm proud of that. I'm proud of how far I've come and what I've overcome.

Christina: [00:31:39] I mean, when I was 19, 20, starting off songwriting, I thought I was too old, like to even, you know, to, to really make a go at it. I had no I just thought, oh, because all all you saw online was these young bands and these for women, it was teenage women that were, you know, those were the ones getting record deals. And you didn't have a whole lot of examples of females, actually males either at that time that were living to a ripe old age and healthy and singing and having like a career past, you know, a couple of like.

Kristen: [00:32:21] You still don't see many women like, you know, there's Bonnie Raitt and I guess Dolly Parton, but she's kind of slowing down. Like you just don't see many women. It is something that was on my mind, too, getting into this industry later in life, you know? Yeah, it really was a risk. Like, who's going to want to listen to me?

Christina: [00:32:37] I know, but. But I don't. I mean, I shouldn't. I can't speak for for, you know, anybody else, but that's, it's still something I have to work on is, is trying not to care about that and how others might perceive me and focusing on just being healthy and doing what I love as long as I can. But I really struggle with that. Yeah.

Kristen: [00:33:05] I'm well, I'm glad that you're sharing that and being because it's something I struggle with too.

Christina: [00:33:11] Yeah, well, we're young and hot. Like, look, I know that the audience can't see us, but just know that we are. We are talented, hard working. We're on a mission. We're middle aged. 

Kristen: [00:33:25] In our prime.

Christina: [00:33:26] Extremely attractive. If that's something that's important to you, I mean it. As much as people say it doesn't matter. I know people that have I don't like that. I know people who are like, uh, you know, they might have a good voice, but they're not that good looking or they're looking pretty old. And like, I hear comments like that and it's just like, Oh, that sucks, but. 

Kristen: [00:33:48] That sucks. But it's it's what I've discovered. It's like a it is a, there's so much talent out there, there's so much talent. And especially now with, you know, I think about when I first started writing and wanting to share like there was no Facebook. Instagram didn't exist and even there was no streaming then, you know, like it was so much harder to to connect. And, and now, like it is a bit saturated like anyone can can record a their bedroom and put it on Spotify or Apple or whatever and it's.

Christina: [00:34:17] And they do and they do. Yeah. And there's lots.

Kristen: [00:34:20] And there's lots of talent and lots of talented people doing that. So it's harder to cut through. So I'm not surprised. Like it is a full picture. It's like your story, your brand, your look like you don't have to be super attractive. Sometimes you can't put your finger on it, but there's something there. So you've got to have something else other than just a good voice and like, there's got to be something else.

Christina: [00:34:42] I mean, we've been hand-fed what the you know, what's popular in terms of beauty. What is beautiful through magazines and marketing for years. And and so if we hadn't had all that I mean, you know, you could you could have taken anybody and and made that the hot trend and the beauty focus. So I mean if listeners and in anyone certainly in any industry but in fashion or music or arts if if image is a part of it, I, I highly recommend just try to have fun with it if that's the direction, if that's something you want to make a part of your art. Because I mean, image, fashion, beauty, colors, textures, all that stuff is it's, you know, it's part of an artistic life and a form of expression.

Kristen: [00:35:33] So but there's more. There's certainly I feel now there's more acceptance, there's more openness now. Yeah, absolutely. To the different it's almost you don't want to be generic anymore. You can't stand out that way. So being, you know, trying to celebrate your difference or whatever it is you offer, I mean, I'm not very flashy, so I try to be just very authentic and yeah, and who I am and my brand. I mean, I can't make it up, but if yeah, if whatever you feel comfortable sharing, presenting like I think there's a lot more flexibility now and just being, being you, being authentic and if you're wild and wacky, then that's going to resonate. More people can like sniff through. If you're just trying too hard.

Christina: [00:36:16] You said something earlier about you can be dramatic. And I, I really love that about this work. And it's taken me a long time to kind of get away from the shyness of like putting yourself out there on stage and developing a live show. And I still work on it. I love I love the idea of, of putting on a beautiful presentation, but I also love the stripped down shows with just Dale and I where it's it's just us. There's no bells and whistles, there's no gimmicks or anything. But but man, do you know, I love the idea of a performance that is you know, incorporates, you know, lighting and lighting design and movement and sort of like in music, you know, music videos. Like, I've loved that.

Kristen: [00:37:09] You have some great videos.

Christina: [00:37:11] Well, thanks. You know, it's, um, it's just been such a a dream to work with video directors and creators that, um, can we can, you know, explore the expression of form, that form of expression together. And what's it been like for you making music videos? Like, do you like that? Let's talk more about the the dramatic expression.

Kristen: [00:37:35] Yeah, well, I, I started I'm starting to explore like get out of my comfort zone a little bit like this record every season that was released in September. Um, I got, I stepped out of my comfort zone with that a little bit too. And and Gabrielle Papillon produced it and you know, she, I love her, her, her vibe, her songs, what she brings to it. And she brought more of a theatrical vibe to my songs and more lush landscapes. And I just I love what she did. And so, you know, I've been trying to just explore, see how far I want to go with some of that. And I, I did a remix in June.

Christina: [00:38:16] I heard that one and I loved, I loved it, hear it.

Kristen: [00:38:20] I loved it too. I absolutely love it. That one was done by Lee Rosevere from P.E.I. and.

Christina: [00:38:26] Yeah, I was inspired by that for sure.

Kristen: [00:38:28] And that came to me. I wasn't planning that. He approached me and I'm like, Sure, what the hell, let's try it. And I was just blown away and I'm like, I got to jump into this. So and trying to be less. I'm a very serious, straight laced person, but I'm trying to let loose a little bit, you know, and just have fun, more fun. That was really my my interest for last year. Just have fun with it. And so like with the music videos, trying to have more fun and so talking about the remix, I didn't have a big budget for the remix or but I knew I wanted to do a video with it and I got my husband and my kids and we all went out to the woods and we just I danced. The video is just me dancing in the woods. But it was a lot of fun. And I you know, I basically told my husband what to do. So it was a lot of fun to be creative in that way as well. And I realized I really like it. I'm going to do a few more DIY videos, I think, in the near future. But that video itself got 1.25K views on YouTube. Like, I'll probably never get that many YouTube views again. Who knows? But like, it just I don't know what happened. I don't know if there was just the vibe that was fun. It was, you know, it just matched the song well and I really enjoyed it.

Christina: [00:39:46] That's super. Well, congratulations. Because, you know, especially now with so much saturation, so many people putting up videos, it's hard to get even, honestly, even a thousand views like,

Kristen: [00:39:56] Oh yeah.

Christina: [00:39:57] So I mean, I think that speaks to the, the, the connection that you made just organically, which is another huge feat.

Kristen: [00:40:06] Yeah. Yeah. That one was organic. There was no ads on that one. So that's pretty exciting. But I try to approach the videos now, like I haven't done a whole bunch, but I do try to approach them with. Like I want to think a little bit more outside the box, have a little more fun, or again, push those boundaries. Um, and I was in theatre growing up in musicals, and so I quite enjoy that side of it too. I don't mind being, being on the other side of a camera. I love it. Performing.

Christina: [00:40:35] Um, you recorded 'Every Season' at Danny Ledwell's studio.

Kristen: [00:40:41] Two of the songs, two of the songs were recorded there and then the rest were at Gabriel's Studio.

Christina: [00:40:46] Oh, cool. Right on. What do you do? Do you have any time to recharge?

Kristen: [00:40:51] I'm an introvert and extrovert, I guess. I think you'd say like, I definitely need a lot of solo time to recharge. I need a lot of time to process. Like I'm a type of person that ruminates a lot or just like journaling is really healthy for me, or just spending time in the woods alone, just like every every year for my birthday. Well, for the last five, six years, I've taken these little retreats for my birthday and I and it's just so healing. I just look forward to it every, every year. And if I can get any solo time in between there, I try. But it's really hard with a young family, I bet. Yeah. And you know, I'm the primary one here with them and I do some side work. I spend a lot of time, as you know, that I don't think people realize how much time the industry takes in the background. You know, there's a lot about this industry that I didn't realize there's a lot of behind the scenes stuff. It takes a lot of work, you know, even just the networking and just the applying for festivals and grants, grants like, Oh, but holy smokes, I had no idea.

Kristen: [00:41:56] It's very expensive. People don't, don't understand. So. So yeah, I spent a lot of my time on the business side and this year I'd like to spend more time on the like writing. I found early on when I entered the industry, I had more time to write and be creative. But now that I'm more into it, like it's, I have less time to do that. But my I'm still being creative in that I do a lot of my, you know, graphic design when I need to and a lot of little short videos here like, you know, which most of us have had to adapt because it's just so costly otherwise. So I, I still creative, but my creativity is being used for other stuff. So maybe less writing. So I've it's, yeah, it's, it's you got to juggle all that and then trying to plan tours if you don't have a booker and then, you know it's. 

Christina: [00:42:45] Yeah I know. Oh I know. Tell me about what a retreat looks like for you because I'm, I'm planning one with a good friend of mine. Um, soon.

Kristen: [00:42:55] I think it depends. Like what you're. Yeah. If there's an outcome. I guess be clear in what you what you want the weekend to bring, I guess, if there's a goal or something. Yeah, think about that. Like for me, for me, they're not super structured. For me, they're a lot of like, recharging and because I need so much solo time and don't get it throughout the year, um, it's just a chance for me to let my guard down. So it's, I do dedicate time to like writing a lot. I do a lot of writing, a lot more journaling, and I usually have a goal of writing, you know, X number of songs by the end of the weekend or whatever it is. But otherwise I take it pretty slow and I do what I want to do. I eat what I want to eat, I sleep how late I want to sleep. I stay up as late as I want to. And like there's just no pressure. I just love that freedom. And I just bask in that freedom and I find in that freedom. A lot of stuff comes out in my journaling and the songs that I write. That's where I find I write like the best songs, I'll say, or the ones that I go back to. They're the ones that mean the most to me because I just feel like there's no one around watching me. There's no expectations. So that's what I get out of them. So I guess just being, you know, for you, it might be completely different. And I know it depends where you're going. Like, I usually find a cabin in the woods where there is nobody around. You know, that's what I need.

Christina: [00:44:30] When you were talking about your retreat, I was like, Isn't it? It is really cool to be an adult. Like to be grown up. You. You can do whatever you want. Why don't we. Why don't more of that. Yeah, why don't we like to be able to feel that way and that confidence and that comfort and that no one's judging you all the time would sure be a nice. Release. Yeah.

Kristen: [00:44:55] Yeah. And I, I yeah, I feel the weight of the world a lot. Like, I'm a very sensitive person, and I just. I feel a lot. And maybe sometimes it's made up in my head. I don't know. But I feel the weight of the world. And so getting away from it every now and then is really healthy for me. I'm still recovering from a burn like last fall. I certainly was in a low, low spot and I was just realizing, trying, just trying to do too much. And I think just. Just tired and realizing like and so 2022, I took it a lot slower. Maybe didn't look that way on the outside, but certainly took it a lot slower. Everyone's different. Yeah, it's that that comparison thing is so hard, right? Like I'm not doing as much as the next person or Why can't I handle as much stress as this person? Well, some people just have different capacities.

Christina: [00:45:52] I was trying to get up at 5 a.m. for a while. Like, yeah, but.

Kristen: [00:45:56] My husband does that. Go to the gym and like, my son is doing it with him now. Like, I don't know how.

Christina: [00:46:02] I mean, if you can do it and you're fine with it, but I just at first it was like, this is cool. I got a lot done today, but I wasn't able to go to bed earlier. And so it was really pretty soon I realized this is not sustainable and like. But yeah, we're raised to to feel bad about sleeping in, you know? Yeah. So anyway, just.

Kristen: [00:46:31] Yeah, no, it is, it is, it is really hard to try and untrain ourselves some of those narratives we've been taught. Right. Yeah. The go, go, go produce, produce, produce and. Well that's why that's why I didn't go into music in the first place. It was like, well music is a hobby. Like do that on your do that on your own time and it's not a career. Oh yeah. So it's it's.

Christina: [00:46:54] Whoops. Guess it is. Um. Hey, what are you most excited about then? Um. In the next. Yea. Is there something that you're like, I'm excited for that thing I'm doing. I know you're going to Ontario to tour in the spring.

Kristen: [00:47:10] I just find out. I found out I'm going to Ontario again in June for Toronto, to Toronto for the Canada Music Week. I'll be showcasing.

Christina: [00:47:18] Congratulations.

Kristen: [00:47:19] Thank you. I've never been to Toronto. I don't like big cities. So yeah, we'll see.

Christina: [00:47:26] I've got a recommendation fly in if you can, to the downtown airport.

Kristen: [00:47:31] I've heard this. Yes.

Christina: [00:47:32] And don't rent a car because getting around Toronto is so much better and easier if you're just taking the transit and the subway.

Kristen: [00:47:41] Yeah. And all that freaks me out, so I'll be fine. But I'm excited about, you know, just seeing where, like, I've already seen this last record, my reach extending a bit more, you know, there's more people listening and I'm just excited to see. To see that momentum continue and like just expand out of the Maritimes and just, just yeah, I'm excited. I have I have high hopes of being able to get out and performing more and connecting with more people and.That's just what I'm going to keep doing.

Song 'I Don't Want to Say Goodbye to You': [00:48:26] It's love. I don't want to say goodbye. I don't want to say goodbye to you.

Heartbeat Hotline: [00:48:41] Welcome to the Heartbeat Hotline. 1-902-669-4769. I'm the host of a chat with Heart podcast, Christina Martin, and I'm so excited you called. Leave me your question, suggestion for the podcast or a comment about this episode. Please be aware your message may be used on the podcast and social media. Tell me your name, where you're calling from, and it's also fine if you want to remain anonymous. Thanks for listening. Have a great fucking day.

Christina: [00:49:14] Thanks for listening to A Chat with Heart Podcast produced and written by me, Christina Martin and co-produced and engineered by Dale Murray. Check out Dale's website dalemurray.ca. The podcast theme song 'Talk About It' and 'I Don't Want to Say Goodbye to You' were written by me and recorded by Dale Murray. You can find my music on Bandcamp and all the places you stream music. Visit my Patreon page to become a monthly or yearly supporter of this podcast and my music endeavors. If you're new to Patreon, it's a membership platform that helps creators get paid. Sign up at patreon.com/ChristinaMartin. I would love it if you had time to share, rate, leave a review and subscribe to A Chat with Heart on all the places you listen to podcasts. Wishing you, my little heartbeats, a great day.